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Sunshine

November 10, 2009

I have been a little down lately. Somedays it seems as though the weight of the world is bearing down on me. There is no big thing, no real crisis, just lots of little things. Little things that I have ZERO control over. Hurts I can’t heal, pain I can’t ease, problems I can’t solve. I get overwhelmed a lot. I have anxiety and panic attacks.

Sometimes I just go too far inside my own head.

I had to get out of my house the other day. The wee one and I had some time to kill in between appointments so we popped out the stroller and went for a walk through town. I can’t begin to describe how much good it did me. The leaves were still vibrantly colored but just dry enough to be falling around me and rustling up the street. There were nothing but puffy cotton ball clouds in the sky. My T-shirt and jeans were just the perfect outfit for the temperature.

As I started to feel the pressure lifting off of me I looked down at the sweet face staring back at me and I was happy. I realized that everything I had been worrying about just wasn’t that important.

Sometimes I worry that I talk about him too much, that I show too many pictures. When I started this blog I did it with the intention not of making money or having a following but of documenting all the little things. I don’t want to look back 5 years from now and realize I can’t remember what our days were like. I want to stay true to myself and be my own person but I’m going to stop being afraid to be the dreaded mommy blogger too.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. heather... permalink
    November 10, 2009 3:28 am

    When you feel weighed down and overwhelmed, just let that little face center you. You ARE a mommy, and a blogger, and you’re damn good at both.

  2. November 10, 2009 10:40 am

    You nailed almost exactly one of my motivations for blogging. I write random posts about “my kid did/said such-and-such” because I don’t ever want to forget it. The little things she does that make me laugh, I want some sort of place to store that stuff for future reference.

    I’m glad the walk helped. This is the best time of year for that stuff. And seriously, that boy of yours? I want to reach through my monitor and smoosh his cheeks, he is so cute.

  3. November 10, 2009 11:54 am

    You are awesome and you have the CUTEST little boy evah! Love him lots, hug & kiss him often and never forget the little moments, cause he’s growing quick and you’ll never get those moments back.

  4. November 10, 2009 12:19 pm

    There is nothing wrong with being a “mommy blogger” because that’s what we are. You have kids, your are a mommy, and that is why most of us started our blog. I was on the same thought trail, until i realized I started my blog to keep my family updated, so now, I am going to be using it for that reason. My children, my family, my updates. Keep writing awesome posts!

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