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My (un)Decorated House

August 3, 2009

jenbshawA little over a year ago my husband and I bought our first house. I can’t tell you how F-ing excited I was to finally live in a house, a house that I could do whatever I wanted to with. Oh, the purchases I made, my big-girl house was going to be like one in a magazine. You see where this is going right? No? Let me take you on a little tour of my house.

The front room/fireplace room. Oh. my. jaysus. Lets just say that for being the first room you see when entering my house this poor little room has been sadly mistreated. The furniture is haphazardly arranged so that I stub my toe at least once a week on the ottoman.

One would think I would move it, but that would be like work.

So, alas, I haven’t.

Moving on.

The remains of my office are scattered about everywhere, waiting for an appropriate storage unit to be procured. It is just sitting there in various paper boxes.

Classy no?

I shit you not: there is a picture on the wall that is not only NOT hung at eye level, but the entire frame is above eye level. The top of the frame is higher than the fracking window frames.

Why, you ask?

Simple.  There was already a nail in the wall left there from the previous owners.

Decorating made easy.

There are shelves propped up against the wall and my extensive collection of Willow Tree figurines that should live on them instead lie next to the shelves in a basket. And I’m not even going to go into the basket of misc papers, junk and baby related paperwork that needs to find a home. Nor will I tell you about my wedding scrapbook that lies unfinished on the fireplace.

You know, from my wedding almost 3 years ago.

At least there isn’t a half-assed baby album laying out there too.

I would have to have started one for that to be a possibility.

This kind of decoration fail happens in smaller portions all over my house. The empty spot above the picture windows with the white wall spackle patches, I have a clock to put there but it is on the floor still in the box waiting to be hung. I have a set of three wall tiles to hang on my bathroom wall. There were already two nails on the wall so I hung up two of them. There is a perfect space in between for the third but you know no nail there. So I just hung it on a random nail on the opposite wall.

I won’t even go into the boxes thrown about in the basement, some of them unopened from the move.

These unfinished little details have been like this for the better part of six months now.

When does it go from “trying to get settled” to flat out laziness?

35 Comments leave one →
  1. August 3, 2009 7:15 am

    I hung pictures of my kid exactly one full year after we moved into the house we’re renting now.

    But that’s about it.

    Also, scrapbooking lolllll. Yeah, not so much.

    Loved this!

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:06 am

      I have one…count it one picture up of Chase. Oh and it totally got hung on an existing nail…heh

  2. August 3, 2009 8:58 am

    I’m proud to announce my 2.4 year old finally has art work in her room that we purchased for her before her birth. It only took 3 years to hang, yo!

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:10 am

      So does this mean the shelves I bought to go in Chase’s room will still be sitting there in 2-3 years, sigh, I figured as much.

  3. August 3, 2009 9:34 am

    Oh hellz. I think my house might be decorated but you can’t tell from all the mountains of shit piled around. You want I should take video of my house? Too bad, I’m too lazy.

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:15 am

      Yes I was going to do picture evidence of my mad decorating skills but alas that would have meant getting up off the couch…my lazy-ies won that battle.

  4. August 3, 2009 10:05 am

    “Decorating made easy” from the nail left from the previous owner? jenbshaw? You are my hero.

  5. August 3, 2009 10:26 am

    Now I’m only an apartment renter right now, but oh how I love the previous tenants for leaving some nails in the wall for me! Also, holes that once had nails in them? Not as good, but still acceptable. Then I can just slliiiide in a new nail without all that hammering and effort.

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:17 am

      Oh I have done the “nail hole” trick before, many many times. I also hang things with push pins because I’m too lazy to find a nail and/or hammer.

  6. August 3, 2009 11:42 am

    After several years of living in our “new” house, there are still: no photos of any family members (that would require me to get pics off the computer and have them printed – too much work), there are still a few containers that I never unpacked and just shoved into the closet for safe keeping (because if I unpacked it, I would have to stress over the fact that I should get rid of a dress that I have not been able to fit into since before I got married 7 years ago – what if i start going to the gym and eating better? I may just be able to slip into that dress, dammit!) and my office is still in the kids’ room because… well, because there is nowhere else for me to move my shit to except for the bathroom and that wouldn’t work because the steam from the shower would make my hair frizzier than it already is in the Florida humidity.

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:23 am

      I have boxes and laundry baskets full of crap in the basement. I keep going down there to sort it and I just get overwhelmed. Maybe I’ll just throw it all out when we go to finish the basement.

  7. August 3, 2009 11:43 am

    Ok, we’ve lived in this house for a year (renting), and we’ve never once been able to park a single car in our two-car garage because it’s so full of crap. Now that we’re about to move to a house that we’ve bought? We can just load up all of those unpacked boxes in the garage *back* onto a moving truck. Easy!

    Also, if you were to walk in my front door and look to the right, you’d see an empty space that’s supposed to be a dining room (we don’t have a dining set). Except there’s a litter box in the middle of it. We iz *classy* up in here.

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:27 am

      We moved three times in one year before we were at this house. We lived in boxes it felt like. It does make moving easier!

  8. August 3, 2009 12:45 pm

    It goes to “being lazy” when you’ve actually paid off the mortgage. That would be this here lazy lady’s timeline and I demand you follow it. BTW – if I had a house, it would be ‘xactly the same. SERIOUSLY WOULD.

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:27 am

      Well seeing as we will NEVER have this house paid for I am in. the. clear. Awesome.

  9. beanery permalink
    August 3, 2009 1:18 pm

    Oh man, this post speaks to me like no other. I am the same way about reusing existing nails/holes in the wall. And in my case, the nails are ALWAYS in an inconvenient place. I am always left scratching my head, like “Why would anyone need a hole right here?”

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:29 am

      Thats the magic of this house, most of the existing nails were in perfect places. Oh, except the one that we hung the GIANT picture on. It looks so ridiculous.

  10. August 3, 2009 1:20 pm

    Baahaaahaaa! My kind of slackeritis? Yeah, laundry and vacuuming and dishes. Oh teh dishes. And no dishwasher. Did I mention I HATE dishes? Hate… there for, sometimes they get all crusty and gross and then I want to die a little bit inside when I actually do have to wash them.

    Or what about the left over food in the fridge that has been there for a weeks because I’m too lazy and grossed out by the fact of opening it up, smelling it, throwing it into the trash can, only to have to wash the effing thing. Refer back to first paragraph about dishes.

    Oh, and the bathroom or our bedroom? Pffffffffft. We won’t even go there.

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:31 am

      When food gets scary in our fridge, as it often does, we just throw away the container. Not even kidding. I buy cheap Gladware and throw that poo out.

  11. August 3, 2009 1:23 pm

    I had grand plans for my big girl house too. So far, I don’t even have window treatments. Unless you count empty curtain rods. In which case, I do. Cause that’s classeeee!

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:37 am

      We have window treatments only because the previous owners left theirs otherwise no way would we have them because I don’t know how to shop for them.

  12. August 3, 2009 1:57 pm

    I have no idea what it is that keeps us with so much unfinished business all over the house. Let me know if you figure it out!

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:39 am

      I know exactly what it is with us, my extreme laziness and inability to make a decision (I THINK I want those shelves there). Being indecisive and lazy is so not a good combination.

  13. August 3, 2009 2:41 pm

    So what you are saying is that if we just leave all of the nails in our walls when we move next summer, we’re not being lazy, we’re helping out the new renters?


    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:46 am

      that is precisely what I am saying. They will (or should) thank you for it.

  14. August 3, 2009 4:23 pm

    I’m aiming low right now. I’m in a temporary rental for 5-7 months. I was about to hang our artwork (mostly because I don’t have a place to store them elsewhere in the meantime). But, I saw into the future. I would have to repair the nail holes. So, my art is leaned against the bottom of the wall. I’ve convinced myself that it looks better that way. I’m Bohemian cool, right?

  15. August 3, 2009 8:38 pm

    I never finished my baby’s room. It was so sad. I won’t even elaborate on the pathetic-ness, but let’s just say there were no tours for visitors and there are no pics of a sweet decorated nursery. Well… that baby will turn 3 in a month and has graduated to a big girl bed and moved into a different room. I’ve spackled holes in prep of painting and she has some mismatched sheets but I’ve yet to finish her room. She’s been in it since May. Hopefully I’ll get around to doing it before she goes to college. Until then we’ll just call the style of her room lazy-ass-mom-chic.

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:48 am

      The nursery is the only room I have come close to finishing. Every other room is living off of whatever the previous owners left behind. Luckily they had pretty good taste.

  16. August 4, 2009 1:01 am

    I’m Aiming so Low that I don’t even have a house. I have my 1 bedroom apartment. You’d think a 1 bedroom apartment would be easy to decorate and clean and make nice. Yeah, it’s harder than you think. Ok, so it’s not that bad, but I still have a 1/2 full suitcase in the middle of my living room. I’ll get around to unpacking from BlogHer eventually. For now my dog thinks it’s his new doggie bed.

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:30 am

      Oh I totally still have stuff from Blogher in baskets. At least my clothes have been laundered but that’s only because I had to wear them again and I also needed the suitcase for a different trip.

  17. August 4, 2009 1:26 am

    Hey, at least your wedding album isn’t unfinished IN the fireplace. That’s something, right?

    • jenbshaw permalink*
      August 4, 2009 1:49 am

      You make an excellent point…excellent…

  18. August 5, 2009 11:26 am

    Dude. You need to come visit me (please). We’ve been here SIX YEARS and that pretty much sounds exactly like my house. It’ll make you feel better about yourself.

    Oh, and bring the baby. You can nap while I sniff him.

  19. August 7, 2009 3:04 am

    this sounds too much like me except I reside in an apt. right now LOL

  20. September 22, 2009 6:57 pm

    I’ve been living in this town for 6yrs and still I feel like I’m “new” here, and decorated? not yet

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